Supporting a football club is ridiculous - fact.
I saw this in a shop yesterday. What's wrong with this picture? With this calendar?
I'll tell you: Big Phil Scolari (Luiz Felipe Scolari) (the big bugger clapping over the top of everyone else) was dismissed as manager of Chelsea Football Club on 9th February 2009 after serving a mere seven months time in post.
Just how many faithful Chelsea fans' walls look as ridiculous as this right now? How many Chelsea FC fans who bought into this totemic bullshit are looking at this calendar, and doubtless countless other items of expensive official club tat, and thinking 'Jesus. That's going to look pretty fucking stupid on the wall for another 10 months...'
Sure, you can blame the calendar makers for being so bold as to assume that top-flight international football manager Luiz Felipe Scolari might make it through at least one season before being fired (stupid, stupid, stupid), but really, anyone buying one of these calendars is a first class doofus for hanging a pamphlet of empty promises upon their wall in the first place.
Why? Because (Premier League) football is the most fickle, greedy and inconstant mistress EVER, and anybody placing so much of a nugget of faith on any one of the feckless, money-grabbing bastards involved in the top-flight clubs is a top-flight fool.
I mean, I have a go at religion, but hell, at least they've had sense to get the old ducks in a pretty stable row stay on message. These clowns (who attract a FAR greater congregation of followers every Sunday) have nothing - they're peddling teams of faithless palimpsests and people keep buying the tickets to see 'em!
That calendar distills everything that's wrong with football into a pure ethanol of greed, vacuity and folly.
What am I on about? It's the fervour, the zealous commitment that people show towards football teams, when these teams represent nothing - not their town (name one Premier League team with even 30% of its members coming from the town/city it proports to represent?); not their country (so many teams are utterly international); and certainly not their interests.
You can't support a manager - he'll get fired. He loses a few games in a row - he's meat and the 'fans' will be booing after four or five defeats.
You can't support a player - he's only there for the cash. Look at that calendar - how many of those players have been involved in 'talks' or 'disputes' over their contracts (poor slaves that they all are)? All of 'em? And how many will still be there come September 2009?
Christ - some of these teams aren't even care what TOWN they're in and will change their name if bothered - see Wimbledon FC..!
Anyway - don't look so surprised, Big Phil. You're nothing - you're a comedy calendar skit - you're a bouncing cheque at best. Move along and wait for the next contract, the next commission, the next calendar shoot. It's coming. Don't worry - the money's always coming.
Article Dan
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